‘Men did not deserve women’s gifts’

Some Abuja residents on Monday expressed divergent views over women’s reluctance to spend on men.

The residents, who spoke, described such action as cultural and appropriate.

Mr Israel Okoye, a civil servant, who resides in Channel 8 Kubwa, said some ladies would not spend on their men “because it is in our culture for men to do the spending’’.

“For women to start providing for men, it seems inappropriate; there are a number of factors that support this notion.

“First, tracing it to cultural background, the society actually places men above women and as such, the women feel it is the sole responsibility of a man to provide.

“Another thing is that most women don’t like spending on men because they feel men are already comfortable.

“Looking at it from the social aspect, in any setting or gathering, you will find that most women are always asking men to settle their bills, not because they cannot pay but because that is the norm.

“This is the Nigerian mentality, but outside Nigeria, women get their men’s gifts and they do not feel bad about it.

“However, for me, if a lady is taking me out, paying my bills, house rent and giving me money, I will automatically think that she wants to get involved with me,“ he said.

Mrs Goodness Alafin, a medical practitioner in Apo, alleged that when men shower gifts on their women without receiving anything in return, they (women) may feel that the relationship is one-sided.

“Love should be of mutual benefit to both parties. Both partners ought to receive and give respectively. But when it is one-sided, it could mean that one person is not trying enough for the relationship to work.

“It could also mean that one person is trying to make the other happy or to please him or her to their own detriment.

“I do not feel that this kind of relationship will go well because the love is one-sided,“ Alafin said.

Miss Blessing Ifeakanwa of Area 10, Garki, said men did not deserve women’s gifts because subsequently, such generosity would be taken for granted and misinterpreted.

“Though, we have women that spend a lot on their men even when the man is not reciprocating; this is common with older women that prefer younger men.

“They just take up every responsibility of the young man, satisfy his entire needs so as to get their own sexual satisfaction from him,“ she said.

Mrs Angela Oluwapamilerin, a business woman at Abuja Shopping Mall, Wuse Zone 2, said her problem with women spending on men is the lack of appreciation on the part of such men.

“Most men, when spent on might forget who did the spending and take pride in the item bought. Sometimes, men do not appreciate the spender (women).

“Again, most men can be hard to please, so spending on them requires a lot of energy to think and some women do not have time for that.

Some men even have too much and spending on them seems unnecessary,“